Hilarious dating quotes Sexchatwithwoman

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I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. He thought he would be funny by using the word 'pen! She fell over laughing when it said its not long enough to accept."Thoughts to Ponder Number 10Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rateat which one can die. If you see him withoutan erection, make him a sandwich.

I enjoy drinking, petty theft, pornography, and self-righteous indignation. I love to give compliments that prominently display my gender stereo-types.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.

Over time you will blame me and grow hostile when I don't fulfill every need you've ever had.

Bonus points if you just finished dating every guy in town but now want to take your time with me.

Zig Ziglar I prefer ordinary girls - you know, college students, waitresses, that sort of thing.

When you're interviewing employees, you are prospecting for someone who will best fit your needs.

Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them fora day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. Not really good for anything, but youstill can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing..

In my free time I have written a thesaurus that included an emphasis on the most useful curses. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless statistics, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.

YOU: You are a man-hating, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and utopic expectations.

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